Rodney Dangerfield Dies at Age 82
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
- When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
- I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
- One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
- I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
- My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
- I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
- I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.
- When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
Rodney Dangerfield, the goggle-eyed comic famed for his self-deprecating one-liners and signature phrase "I can't get no respect," died on Tuesday at age 82, his publicist said.Rodney walks with the angels and the angels now laugh when they walk. Rest in peace.Dangerfield, who became a pop culture sensation with a string of broad film comedies starting with "Caddyshack" in 1980, died at 1:20 p.m. PDT (4:20 p.m. EDT) at the UCLA Medical Center, where he had undergone heart valve replacement surgery in August, spokesman Kevin Sasaki said in a statement.
Blog post #3810 in category
Miscellaneous
posted 5 October 04